Ah, MSNBC has done it again. They’ve decided that the way to fix their collapsing ratings, shrinking audience, and complete lack of credibility is… drumroll please… a new name. Welcome to MS NOW — the network rebrand so fresh and exciting it makes you long for the cutting-edge innovation of, say, dial-up AOL.
Yes, MS NOW. Doesn’t that sound like a streaming service your grandmother accidentally subscribes to while trying to watch “Wheel of Fortune”? It’s not news, it’s not journalism, it’s not even new. It’s just the same warmed-over talking points, reheated until soggy, and served on a shiny new plate.
This isn’t the first time we’ve seen this play. Remember when Comcast rebranded itself as Xfinity? Suddenly the cable company everyone hated became… the cable company everyone hated with a cooler name. You still couldn’t stream Netflix without a buffering wheel spinning like a hamster on Red Bull, but hey, it said X instead of Com. Wow, what progress!
That’s exactly what MS NOW is. Same left-wing propaganda, new font. Instead of Rachel Maddow whispering about Russian bots on MSNBC, it’s Rachel Maddow whispering about Russian bots on MS NOW. Instead of Joy Reid accusing everyone who disagrees with her of being a secret Klansman on MSNBC, it’s Joy Reid accusing you of the same thing on MS NOW. But this time the chyron is lime green. Revolutionary.
The Logic of the Left: Branding Over Substance
This whole thing feels like the boardroom meeting went something like this:
- Executive 1: “People don’t trust us anymore.”
- Executive 2: “Maybe we should try journalism?”
- Executive 1: “Don’t be ridiculous. How about a new name?”
- Executive 3: “Perfect. Let’s hire a design firm in Brooklyn to pick the most focus-grouped word in the English language.”
Result? MS NOW — a name so generic it sounds like a knockoff deodorant.
What Does “NOW” Even Mean?
“Now” implies urgency. Like something is happening at this very moment. Except when you tune in, it’s just Chris Hayes reading DNC press releases with his glasses sliding down his nose. “Breaking News” — Trump sneezed. Again. Quick, let’s spend three hours speculating how that sneeze signals the collapse of democracy.
Meanwhile, when real news happens — Hunter Biden’s laptop, anyone? — MS NOW is still pretending it’s 2016 and Russia hacked your toaster. “Now” is supposed to mean immediacy, but in practice it means “now we’ll ignore the actual story.”
Branding as Therapy
The funny thing is, these rebrands always feel like group therapy for executives. “We’re not MSNBC, the tired old cable dinosaur! We’re MS NOW, the sleek, youthful, edgy millennial cousin!” Except millennials are busy watching TikTok, and Gen Z couldn’t pick Chris Matthews out of a police lineup.
Let’s be honest: rebranding MSNBC as MS NOW is like rebranding spam email as “delicious pork in a can.” You can call it whatever you want — it’s still spam.
What Comes Next?
At this rate, I half expect CNN to announce its own rebrand as CNN+2.0 — because remember, CNN+ lasted what, 23 days? Or maybe they’ll just call it NN (No News). That would at least be truth in advertising.
Fox News could rebrand too, but the difference is they don’t need to. People actually watch them. MSNBC could rename itself The Ministry of Truth and it would have the same ratings.
Final Thought
So here’s to MS NOW, the Comcast-to-Xfinity of the news world. A new name slapped on the same broken product. You can put lipstick on a donkey, but at the end of the day, it’s still braying left-wing propaganda into your living room.
In the end, this is what MS NOW really stands for:
- More
- Spin
- NOW.
Congratulations, MSNBC. Or should I say, MS NOW. You’ve proven that the best way to distract from your failures is a shiny logo, a hollow slogan, and absolutely no self-awareness. Bravo.
Jacob Silver is a contributor for Direct Line News, he can be reached at Jacob.Silver@mcgopclub.com
Direct Line News is a Maryland-based free-access publication committed to the Republican reform tradition.
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