Let’s talk about Montgomery County’s latest stroke of genius: making it illegal to park in bike lanes. Yes, you heard that right. Councilmember Evan Glass, our self-appointed prophet of pedals, has decided that the county’s next great crusade is to protect the “less than one percent” of residents who use bike lanes. Forget about traffic congestion, forget about potholes, forget about crime no, friends, the war on parked cars has begun.
Glass proudly declared, “Dedicated bike lanes are critical safety infrastructure.” Sure, Evan, if you can actually use them. But here’s the thing: most people don’t. You could ride your bike down Wisconsin Avenue at noon and count the cyclists on one hand and still have fingers left to wave goodbye to common sense.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. Nobody wants cyclists to get hurt. Safe roads are good. Safety is good. But laws should reflect reality, not wishful thinking cooked up at a Vision Zero committee meeting. Montgomery County’s population is just shy of a million. The daily number of cyclists using these newly painted lanes? Maybe a few hundred on a warm day. Yet, we’re being told to redesign traffic, punish drivers, and make deliveries nearly impossible all to appease an elite club of Lycra enthusiasts who think car keys are a moral failing.
And speaking of “Vision Zero,” let’s be honest it’s become the political equivalent of “thoughts and prayers.” Politicians love to say it, write it, hashtag it, but no one can define what it actually means beyond “spend more money.” If Glass really wanted to save lives, maybe he could start by addressing the fact that people are getting robbed at bus stops or that pedestrians are hit in unlit crosswalks. But no, he’s fixated on turning curb space into a protected zone for ghost cyclists.
Here’s what happens in the real world, Evan: People still have to live their lives. Parents still need to drop off their kids at school. Seniors still need to get to appointments. Delivery drivers still need to bring food and medicine to people’s doors. Where do they park now? What’s the plan? Oh, that’s right there isn’t one. They’ll just get ticketed for doing their jobs while the county pats itself on the back for “progress.”
Meanwhile, drivers are stuck circling the block because the same people who tell us to “go green” also eliminated parking lots in favor of bike racks nobody uses. You can’t make this up. This isn’t planning it’s performance art.
And here’s the punchline: most of the time, these bike lanes are empty. Nothing but bright green paint, a couple of cones, and a government press release pretending it’s the Autobahn of sustainability. If this is what Vision Zero looks like, maybe the vision part needs an eye exam.
Evan Glass wants to make the roads safer for “everyone.” But his version of “everyone” excludes roughly 99% of Montgomery County residents who still drive to work, school, or the grocery store. You know the people who pay the gas taxes, property taxes, and registration fees that actually fund these lanes.
Look, if someone wants to bike to work, great. More power to them. But stop acting like it’s a civil right. The rest of us shouldn’t have to plan our mornings around a county councilmember’s Instagram photo-op on a bike with a reflective vest.
This new law isn’t about safety it’s about signaling. It’s about politicians who want to say they “did something,” even if that something makes daily life worse for everyone else. Maybe Evan Glass should try running errands for a week without his taxpayer-funded parking pass. Let’s see how that goes when he’s circling Silver Spring with melting ice cream in the trunk and no legal place to park.
So congratulations, Councilmember Glass. You’ve made Montgomery County a little more “progressive” and a lot less practical. The rest of us will be over here, stuck in traffic, looking at an empty bike lane.
Ian Schwartz is a columnist for Direct Line Contact at Ian.Schwartz@mcgopclub.com
Direct Line News is a Maryland-based free-access publication committed to the Republican reform tradition.
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