Let me start by saying I’m writing this from the calm serenity of the Upper East Side, a place where the streets are paved with sarcasm and cashmere, and where we pay enough in taxes to at least expect our trash to be picked up on time. Unlike in Montgomery County, Maryland—where a politician named Andrew (no last name needed because apparently he’s a one-name brand now, like Beyoncé or Cher) thinks he’s going to save the county by doing what Democrats do best: throw taxpayer money at every conceivable problem and call it “leadership.”
So let’s take a little trip, shall we? From Manhattan’s tree-lined East 72nd to the potholed, over-regulated, and increasingly unaffordable landscape of Montgomery County. Strap in. It’s about to get preachy, pricey, and painfully progressive.
“Building the Future Together” – One Tax at a Time
Andrew’s campaign slogan sounds like it was copy-pasted from a high school Model UN speech. “Building the Future Together”? Cute. But let’s decode that for normal people: You pay for my pet projects while I parade around in a Patagonia fleece talking about equity, inclusivity, and bike lanes nobody uses.
He claims MoCo is becoming “less affordable” while bragging about all the ways he’s made it… even less affordable. You ever meet someone who sets your house on fire and then shows up in a fireman’s hat asking for a medal? That’s Andrew.
The Record on Record Spending
This guy “funded public schools at record levels.” And what did taxpayers get in return? Lower test scores, vanishing parental rights, and a school system more interested in pushing ideology than education. Bravo, sir. Only a Democrat could call that success and expect applause.
Also—he added transparency and accountability metrics. Aw, thanks for the spreadsheet, Andrew. That really makes up for throwing another $500 million at a system that can’t even keep the heat running in winter without a community GoFundMe.
Housing “Solutions” That Solve Nothing
Let’s talk about that $100 million Housing Production Fund. Now, to the untrained eye, that looks like a good idea—build more housing, right? But here’s the trick: it’s not for you. It’s for the “mixed-income,” “smart-growth,” “climate-resilient,” “transit-oriented,” “public-land-colocated” housing that developers love and nobody else wants.
Translation: 500 new units on top of a church parking lot in Kensington, next to a bus stop, with no parking and a vegan co-op on the ground floor. Hope you like kombucha, because that’s the only beverage you’ll be able to afford when your property taxes triple.
Economic Development, MoCo-Style
Ah yes, the J.O.B.S. Initiative. Because nothing screams “serious policy” like an acronym designed for bumper stickers. Andrew secured $20 million to “attract new businesses.” Let’s ignore the fact that MoCo’s business climate is basically an OSHA violation wrapped in an audit, and focus on the fun part—giving tax dollars to the government to attract companies that will then be over-regulated, over-taxed, and eventually chased out of the county.
It’s like setting bait for a raccoon and then yelling at it for being wild. No wonder job growth in MoCo is flatter than my uncle’s sense of humor after two Manhattans.
Climate Policy: Where Common Sense Goes to Die
This one’s my favorite. Andrew co-authored MoCo’s largest-ever climate investment (because the county budget is Monopoly money, right?). And of course, there’s a Green Building Tax Credit. Because when families are drowning in inflation, what they really need is LEED Platinum-certified libraries and net-zero composting restrooms.
You can’t make this stuff up. Unless you’re a Democrat in Montgomery County, in which case you make it up, print a brochure, and bill the taxpayers.
“Holding the Line on Tax Increases”
I laughed so hard I spilled my oat milk latte. Andrew claims to have “held the line” on tax increases. And by “held the line,” he means pushed the line, moved the line, redefined the line, then taxed the line.
Here’s the thing, Andrew. Montgomery County’s budget didn’t triple itself. Those record spending levels didn’t just wander in. They were voted on. By you. “Holding the line” apparently means “adding six new taxes but not calling them taxes.”
Newsflash: A tire fee, digital services tax, and higher vehicle excise rates are still taxes, even if you slap a rainbow sticker on the invoice.
Public Safety, Unless It’s Actually About Police
Andrew’s record on public safety includes “expanding security grants for nonprofits”—a good move, credit where it’s due. But guess what’s not on his record? Supporting police officers when crime was surging.
He talks about hate crimes, but not carjackings. Talks about nonprofit buildings, but not the teachers and nurses who are afraid to walk to their cars. MoCo’s crime response these days is “Let’s have a townhall about feelings.” That’s not safety, that’s therapy.
Awards for Everyone!
Andrew’s list of awards is longer than a CVS receipt. He’s got something from a rescue squad, a chamber of commerce, a Glen Echo group… Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if he won “Most Likely to Tax You in Your Sleep” from the MoCo PTA.
But here’s a thought: maybe instead of winning awards, try fixing the roads, unclogging the permitting process, and making it possible to open a restaurant without a seven-month bureaucratic nightmare.
“I Want Every Family to Thrive”
This line made me do a spit-take. The only thing thriving in MoCo are consultants who help you navigate local government red tape, and developers who figured out how to put up luxury condos next to food deserts and call it “smart growth.”
The middle class? They’re fleeing. The tax base? Shrinking. The working poor? Squeezed by housing costs and energy fees. But hey, the murals are diverse and the press releases are inclusive.
The Politics of Division, Distraction, and Destruction… Oh My!
Andrew ends his love letter to himself with a call to reject “the broken politics of division, distraction, and destruction.” Irony alert: That’s been his playbook for the last six years.
He distracts voters with shiny slogans, divides the county into equity groups, and destroys the budget with every spending package wrapped in the word “inclusive.” This isn’t leadership. It’s a TED Talk with taxpayer dollars.
Final Thoughts from 10065
Listen, I may be from Manhattan, but I’ve walked the Pike, I’ve eaten at Bethesda Bagels, and I’ve sat through enough MoCo Council Zoom meetings to know this: you can’t tax your way to prosperity, and you can’t slogan your way out of a mess you helped create.
Andrew may be the youngest Council President in history, but he’s pushing the oldest Democratic playbook: tax, spend, regulate, repeat. And now he wants to be County Executive.
If that doesn’t scare you, try reading his budget reports after two cocktails. Terrifying stuff.
So here’s my advice, Montgomery County: If you want a County Executive who makes you feel good while your taxes rise and your small businesses close, Andrew’s your guy.
But if you want someone who’ll treat your money like it matters—maybe, just maybe—it’s time to stop electing the same self-congratulatory, latte-fueled, ribbon-cutting, budget-bloating, bike-lane-obsessed politicians who think leadership is measured in hashtags and accolades.
You deserve better.
Even the Upper East Side agrees.
— Jacob Silver is a native New Yorker and mechanical engineering major at Georgetown University. He enjoys photography, Mets games, and mocking overcompensating politicians with overused slogans.
Endnotes
- Montgomery County Housing Costs vs. Wages
Data on rising home prices and stagnating wages sourced from Montgomery County Department of Housing and Community Affairs Annual Report (2024). - MoCo School System Budget Increases
Montgomery County Public Schools FY24 Budget Summary, showing increased funding without measurable improvement in academic outcomes or test scores. - Montgomery County Tax Increases
Refer to the Montgomery County Council 2023 Legislative Session Summary, which includes:- Vehicle excise tax increase (6% → 6.5%)
- New 3.5% rental car excise tax
- Cannabis tax increase (9% → 12%)
- Tire fee implementation
- Digital services tax
- Vending machine tax extension
- J.O.B.S. Initiative
County Council press release dated March 12, 2023, outlining the $20 million Jobs, Opportunities, and Business Support package. - Public Safety Funding Shift
Review of Council voting records from 2020–2023 shows funding reallocation away from traditional law enforcement toward non-profit and community grants. - Green Buildings Now Act
Montgomery County Council Bill 16-21, introduced by Friedson and co-sponsored by multiple Councilmembers, creating the county’s largest-ever climate infrastructure package. - Paid Parental Leave & Right to Nourish Bills
See Bill 10-22 and Bill 12-23, both sponsored by Andrew Friedson and promoted in County social media campaigns as major steps for working families. - Population Decline & Business Exodus
Maryland Public Policy Institute and Maryland Chamber of Commerce report (2023) shows businesses relocating to Northern Virginia due to regulatory and tax burdens in MoCo. - Andrew Friedson Voting Record on Taxes and Spending
Verified through official Montgomery County Council meeting minutes and budget votes available at www.montgomerycountymd.gov. - Transparency Measures and Accountability Metrics
See County Council FY24 Budget Appendix: “Performance-Based Budgeting Pilot Programs,” introduced with language by Friedson’s office. - Montgomery County Traffic, Permit, and Housing Complaints
Data aggregated from MoCoStat quarterly reports and CountyStat dashboards highlighting community dissatisfaction with zoning delays and housing permit processing times. - Awards and Recognitions
Compiled from Friedson’s official campaign biography and verified via individual organization announcements and newsletters (Montgomery Chamber, JCRC, Glen Echo Park Foundation, etc.). - Public School Decline Metrics
Maryland State Department of Education reports (2022–2024) indicating increased absenteeism, behavioral incidents, and underperformance in math and reading benchmarks. - Record Homelessness and Affordability Crisis in MoCo
Data from the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments Homelessness Enumeration Report (2024) and Montgomery County’s “Housing First” initiative status report. - MoCo’s Climate Resilience Projects
County budget expenditures found in the 2024 Climate Infrastructure and Adaptation Initiative brief, with disproportionate funding going to green infrastructure in select districts.
Jacob Silver, is a Contributor for Direct Line News can be contacted at Jacob.Silver@mcgopclub.com.
Direct Line News is a Maryland-based free-access publication committed to the Republican reform tradition.
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