A Day in the Life of a Sick and Tired Conservative in Biden\’s America

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7:30 a.m.

Woke up and tuned in to morning news.

7:35 a.m.

Watched report of thousands of migrants lined up at southern border.

7:36 a.m.


Adam Schiff Moving for Monumental Change in House and a Huge New Role for Himself

Thought about “Remain in Mexico.”

Wished Supreme Court would have thought about it too.

Wondered what Vice President/border czar Kamala Harris was doing this morning.

8:05 a.m.

Stopped at gas station on the way to work.

Teared up as pump flashed $5.89 per gallon at me.

Made mental note to visit bank for gas loan.

8:06 a.m.

Recalled John Kerry’s promise to “transform” American energy.

8:09 a.m.

Was reminded of Bill Buckley’s line, “I would rather be governed by the first 2,000 people in the telephone directory than by the Harvard University faculty.”

11:45 a.m.

Stopped for lunch at local sandwich shop.

Balked at $9.50 cheeseburger.

Settled for energy bar and banana.

Really began to “feel the Bern.”

Made mental note to visit bank for lunch loan.

12:00 p.m.

Checked headline regarding baby formula shortage and empty store shelves.

Head began to throb.

6:00 p.m.

Reviewed latest 401K statement.

Looked more like 201K statement.

Beads of sweat appeared on upper lip.

6:30 p.m.

Sat down to dinner.

Pondered whether I could make it all the way through Fox primetime lineup.

7:00 p.m.

Went ahead and watched anyway.

Got through Jesse Watters but migraine set in after Tucker’s first block.

8:22 p.m.

Turned channel to Cubs vs. Dodgers.

Cubs reminded me of Lori Lightfoot, Braves of George Gaston and Gavin Newsom.

Hemorrhoids began to stir.

Made mental note to visit bank for Preparation H loan.

Turned channel to Braves vs. Mets.

8:25 p.m.

Atlanta Stadium rekindled memories of All-Star Game move from Atlanta to Colorado due to Georgia’s photo ID law.

Switched channel to old episode of Seinfeld.

8:30 p.m.

Sneezing attack sparked reminder to buy allergy medicine — and bring Maryland photo ID — because PHOTO ID MUST BE PRESENTED IN ORDER TO BUY CLARITIN-D.

11:00 p.m.

Turned on 11 o’clock news.

Heart rate spike upon mention of 8.3 percent inflation.

Made mental note to thank Sen. Joe Manchin for killing last round of COVID payments.

11:06 p.m.

Stunned to see that swimming’s governing board decided to limit female swim meets to… females.

11:07 p.m.

Wondered if this ruling would be considered countercultural.

11:30 p.m.

Thought about how mean those mean tweets could have been.

11:40 p.m.

Went to bed exhausted but unable to sleep.

Began to count sheep… but they were ALL BLUE!

Switched to counting days… to Nov. 8.

Passed out from anxiety somewhere in early October.

2:00 a.m.

Dreamed that 22nd Amendment had been suspended.

2:01 a.m.

Woke up in a cold sweat.

Pondered whether I could make it through to “Fox & Friends.”

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